


S'more Trouble Than Intended

by Fox_Salz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cat Puns, Demonstuck, Fluff, Giant Spiders, I'd apologize but we all know I'm not sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Polyamory, S'mores, Violence, demons that look like trolls, fluff and violence, late night diner visits, the title is a pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 20:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16394972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox_Salz/pseuds/Fox_Salz
Summary: Mituna has some uninvited but not unwelcome guests on his current hunt.





	S'more Trouble Than Intended

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChasetheSun2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasetheSun2/gifts).



> I couldn't resist filling this prompt, too. 
> 
> "Time to get Spoopy(tm). Maybe some demon/supernaturalstuck, a preacher caught between two demons? Or maybe a hunter who managed to find some weirdly friendly critters to follow them along for the trip ^^ Human or regular trolls, either is fine! Fluff or angst, spook or crack, it's all fun for me!"
> 
> I clicked 'graphic depictions of violence' just to be safe. It's a little gorey.

There was an otherworldly voice whispering his name. Mituna did his best to ignore it. The voice echoed on the wind, _Mituna Mituna Mituna_ whistling through the trees.

 

He refused to answer back. Instead he tossed his bag in the bed of his truck.

 

_Mituna Mituna Mewtuna_

 

Cringing at the pun Mituna climbed inside and started up his truck.

 

“Mewtuna!” that voice screamed into his ear, making him jump.

 

His truck was filled with laughter.

 

“What have I said about doing that?” he groused, turning to his uninvited companion. Oh, pardon, _companions_.

 

“It was rude of Meulin to scare you—“

 

“I was _startled_.”

 

“But it was also quite rude of you to ignore her like that.”

 

“Kankri.”

 

“Yes, Mewtuna?”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you start that up, too.”

 

Kankri just gave him a too innocent smile that crinkled his red eyes in an infuriatingly adorable way. 

 

It had been only a week—not even a full seven days, really—since Mituna had last seen this pair and he couldn’t help taking them in. Part of it was concern since they sometimes came to him looking worse for wear from incidents in their realm they wouldn’t tell him about. Another part, one that he hated to admit even just to himself, was how much he absolutely _missed_ them. 

 

Thankfully he couldn’t see any marks on their gray skin, at least nothing that couldn’t be attributed to each other; Kankri bruised easily, while Meulin had an oral fixation and very sharp teeth. 

 

Grabbing his arm and bouncing up and down in the seat like a child Meulin asked, “What are we doing in the woods, Mewtuna? Are we on a hunt?”

 

“ _I_ am in the woods because there have been reports of an animal attack of some campers. _You_ are in my truck because you invited yourselves in. Which, for the record _Kankri_ , is rude.”

 

That only made Kankri stick out his tongue.

 

Why did Mituna befriend a pair of demons?

 

He had no choice. They wouldn’t leave him alone so eventually he just got used to them. Like a pair of strays that he never shooed off so they stuck around.

 

“What _are_ you two doing here?” Mituna asked as he carefully drove back towards the road.

 

“Maybe we just missed mew,” Meulin replied, pressing their faces together. 

 

“So it’s gonna be a whole night of cat puns huh?”

 

In answer she purred. It sent a warmth to his chest and cheeks but he steadfastly refused to let her realize that.

 

Meulin gave him a look like she could tell. Fuck.

 

“Meulin, you shouldn’t distract him while he’s driving,” Kankri spoke up, coming to his rescue. “Remember last time?”

 

“I fixed his headlight, it was fine.”

 

“You duck taped it. The wrong way,” Mituna reminded. She’d also covered right over the light.

 

“Ugh you’re both so fussy.”

 

Pouting, Meulin fell back against the seat and crossed her arms over her chest. She mumbled something akin to _buzzkills_.

 

Mituna rolled his eyes. With a minor flick of his wrist alternating red and blue lights enveloped the seatbelts, and they locked in over him and his uninvited companions.

 

“It’s sweet how you think of our safety.”

 

“It’s to keep you in your damn seats instead of hanging all over me.”

 

Kankri hummed in that exasperating way of his.

 

“So where are we heading, Mew—“ Mituna shot him a look. “ _Mi_ tuna?”

 

“I got a motel room not far from here. I was just out here checking the place out. Didn’t see any signs of whatever it was that attacked campers so I set up some cameras.”

 

“You know you can always summon us when you go on hunts,” Kankri told him. The concern thick in his voice made Mituna steal a glance; there was that crinkle in his brow that always came out when he was worried slash overprotective.

 

“This is a simple hunt, I’ve done hundreds of them. I’m not going to summon you two when I don’t have to.”

 

“We’ve told you before you can summon us at any time. Whether you necessarily need us or not. We’re always happy to help. Besides, we enjoy spending time with you.”

 

Mituna couldn’t handle that much sincerity and open emotion. He knew he was blushing. Kankri and Meulin knew, too; why did demons have to have such good night vision?

 

Leaning over so her mouth was right at his ear Meulin whispered, “That’s a pretty shade on you.”

 

“So why are you two here?” Mituna deflected. “Got bored of your own dimension?”

 

“Kankri’s Mituna-is-doing-something-stupid senses were tingling.”

 

“That’s always going off.”

 

“There’s a reason for that,” Meulin teased.

 

“You’re one to talk.”

 

Meulin shrugged, sitting back in her seat.

 

Mituna pulled into the motel parking lot. Before he could grab his bag out of the back Meulin had already gotten it. So he headed for room 4, Kankri threading his arm through Mituna’s and following along.

 

This wasn’t the worst motel room he’d ever been in. No bed bugs, he’d already examined thoroughly. Nothing haunting it, either. The decor was hideous and straight out of a cheap 60s porno, though. Mituna kinda dug it.

 

As Mituna started setting up his computer Meulin zipped to the bed with a squeal, jumped up on it. She bounded to the head where there was a meter to make it rock. Throwing her arms around it she gave her best pleading eyes.

 

“Mewtuna?”

 

“You are an actual child.”

 

Grumbling aside, he fished in his pocket and pulled out three quarters. He tossed two at her as he went over and inserted the last one in the meter. The bed came to life.

 

“Maybe that’ll keep you entertained for a while.”

 

“What can I do to help?” Kankri asked as Mituna started back for his work.

 

In answer Mituna pushed him on the bed. Meulin threw her arms around Kankri so he couldn’t get back up. At first he protested, trying to wiggle out of her grasp, but when he realized it was futile he relented. Meulin was far stronger than him.

 

Smiling to himself, Mituna finished setting up. For a while he concentrated on the screens. Or at least he tried. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and it was much more interesting to listen to the couple on the bed. Their giggling and loving murmurs filled the small room. Eventually it was too hard to ignore and he joined them on the bed, even putting in another quarter he scrounged up. The other two cheered and threw their arms around him.

 

—

 

When morning rolled in, sun rays piercing through the askew blind, Mituna’s demons were still there. He was sandwiched between them, Kankri nestled against his back with an arm around his waist and Meulin curled up against his chest. Her head was tucked under Mituna’s chin. All their legs were tangled together.

 

Mituna needed to get up and check on his cameras, but he didn’t want to wake his companions. It was rare Kankri slept peacefully. Mituna, too; he usually slept better with them. The nightmares weren’t so bad.

 

Deciding he could spare a little longer, Mituna pushed some of Meulin’s wild hair out of his mouth and slowly eased onto his back so he could pull them both half on top of him, mindful of their horns. Kankri stirred into that half awake but not exactly registering what was going on state. He mumbled something nonsensical and settled back down on Mituna’s chest. Mituna chuckled and ran his fingers through his partners’ hair.

 

He dozed off for a while, jostled back awake when the others came to. When Mituna tried to get up Meulin wrapped her arms around him and peppered him with kisses that drowned out his admittedly weak protests. Kankri was no help. He tossed a leg over Mituna’s and went at his neck.

 

They staid in bed for nearly an hour longer.

 

When Mituna finally rolled around to check his cameras there had been no pings for anything out of the ordinary.

 

“Guess I’ll have to spend the night out there.”

 

“Yes! Let’s go camping!” Meulin cheered.

 

“You two aren’t going back to your dimension?”

 

“Nah, nothing fun’s going on over there.”

 

“Besides,” Kankri added, we can’t just let you go into possible danger all by your lonesome. Oh, can we get the ingredients for s’mores?”

 

“Did you piss off Porrim again?” he guessed. Their noncommittal hand waving was answer enough. Mituna sighed. “Don’t drag me into your family squabbling. Your mother hates me enough as is.”

 

“She doesn’t hate you,” Kankri assured. “She’s Just protective.”

 

“Plus Porrim’s worried about us being involved with a human. Especially one who’s so good at attracting trouble.”

 

“Not nearly as much trouble as you two do. But fine, we’ll do s’mores.”

 

Their cheering made Mituna roll his eyes; he couldn’t help the stubborn little smile, though.

 

After a stop at a convenience store for supplies where Kankri and Meulin were absolutely forbidden from getting out of the truck, they drove back to the woods. They set up camp near where the attack happened. Rather, Mituna dropped his bag in the middle of a good enough spot and let the other two set things up while he checked on his cameras.

 

All of them were still up and working, thankfully. He rearranged a few for different shots before heading back to his partners. He wasn’t quite sure what he walked back in on.

 

“One question.”

 

“Oh, you’re back,” Kankri greeted, head wiggling out from under the downed tent.

 

Meulin likewise shot up from a ridiculously large pile of sticks and limbs. She grinned around the twigs in her mouth.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Brow crinkling Kankri replied, “What do you mean? You told us to set up camp.”

 

“You know you’re not supposed to get in the tent until it’s propped up, right?”

 

“It’s not that simple of a task,” Kankri huffed.

 

Mituna snickered and flicked his wrist. His lights enveloped the tent and Kankri, the latter floating up a few feet in the air. In a matter of seconds the tent was properly set up.

 

“You’re so talented, Mewtuna,” Meulin said, spitting out the twigs.

 

“Kankri, do you even know how to put up a tent?”

 

“I have a vague notion.”

 

“Making shelters is my job, you know this. But he wanted to try and I can never say no to him.”

 

Mituna snickered. Kankri crossed his arms.

 

“I would appreciate my feet being back on the ground.”

 

“Hm. Nope.” For added affect he raised Kankri another foot. “So Meulin, What’s with the sticks?”

 

“Shelter,” she answered like it was the most obvious thing, complete with an eye roll.

 

“Were you going to make a log cabin?”

 

“I could.”

 

“We’re going to be out here for a single night.” Silently Mituna added _hopefully_. “Abandon your twig abode, Meu. The tent is fine.”

 

“Fine, you spoilsport.”

 

“Wild beast,” Mituna shot back, heading towards a downed trunk with the still pouting Kankri in tow.

 

The log had not been there when he’d left, meaning she had lugged it here. Fuck Meulin was strong. She could break him as easily as one of those twigs and he loved it.

 

Mituna sat down, finally lowing Kankri beside him. He huffed dramatically which only made Mituna snicker. Throwing an arm around his shoulders Mituna asked, “Do you want to make those s’mores now?”

 

His ears perked up.

 

Meulin sprung out from her woodpile and zipped over to them, slamming into Mituna and knocking them all off. For a minute Mituna saw stars.

 

“I heard s’mores.”

 

“You’re a fucking menace.”

 

“I’ll get the fire started,” she offered, pecking them both on the cheek.

 

—

 

Mituna loved Kankri and Meulin with all his heart. He could admit that to himself easily. They were _his_ demons.

 

But fuck did they flabbergast him.

 

“Just let me levitate them for you,” he begged.

 

“That would take away from the whole experience,” Kankri replied.

 

The so-called “experience” was them holding their marshmallows over the fire with dirty sticks right off the ground. In contrast Mituna, because he wasn’t some barbarian, was hovering his marshmallows over the flames with his psionics.

 

“Neither of you are allowed to kiss me once you eat those things.”

 

Kankri and Meulin shared a look that he didn’t like at all. Like animals they took the half melted marshmallows off and popped them in their mouths, some of it smearing across their lips. Then before he could defend himself both tackled him right off the log. They peppered him with kisses through his protests, leaving sticky residue all over.

 

“Why did I let you two come along?” he wondered when they finally let up. 

 

“Because you can’t resist us,” Meulin replied as she and Kankri rested their heads on his chest. Her horns poked into the bottom of his jaw.

 

“I’m a fool.”

 

“No dear, you’re very intelligent,” Kankri assured. “The word you’re looking for is sap.”

 

Mituna groaned. He was completely right, though, because while he could easily levitate them off he didn’t. Fucking _sap_.

 

Eventually they did finish making those s’mores. All leaning against each other they indulged in their third ones while Mituna had more marshmallows roasting. It was nice.

 

Which of course meant things had to flip upside down.

 

It started with a cry. Some poor creature’s last moment. The trio stilled; Mituna shivered involuntarily. He glanced at his partners as their heads turned to one direction, ears raising.

 

“That sounded like—“Kankri started, voice hardly more than a whisper.

 

“A deercat,” Meulin finished. She gave a guttural growl.

 

“So what killed it?” Mituna asked, dreading what that answer could be. Judging by his companions’ expressions, so did they.

 

As Meulin slipped in front of them Mituna reached into his bag with his psionics and brought out his hunting knife. Armed, he came up a few steps in front of Kankri, just to the side and behind of Meulin. They waited in tense silence for the creature to give another sign of itself.

 

It came in a form Mituna couldn’t register. His partners could, ears twitching towards a sound too far away for his ears to catch.

 

“It’s coming this way,” Kankri informed, stepping closer to Mituna.

 

Meulin braced herself, claws expanding. Her hair had ruffled out a bit, reminiscent of a cat on edge.

 

There was a scuttling sound. Like some large creature was approaching fast.

 

Then a voice came out of the trees, crackling and reverberating.

 

“My, my, my. Look what pretty things have stumbled into my mistress’ web.”

 

Kankri gripped Mituna’s upper arm and he turned. There was a mixed look of fear and disgust on his face that Mituna didn’t like at all; Kankri should never have an expression like that. It wasn’t right.

 

“This does not need to end in a fight,” Kankri called out, which earned him a nasty laugh.

 

“The only thing this will end in is your deaths, little Sufferer. You and your righteous Disciple. Mistress wants your little pet alive, though.”

 

Mituna bristled. Before he could say a word however Kankri snapped, “You will not touch either of them. I will gladly offer myself for you to take back to Mindfang.”

 

“Like fuck you will,” Mituna growled as Meulin snarled.

 

The creature laughed again.

 

Then a large shape lunged out of the darkness.

 

Meulin met it in the air, knocking it to the ground where they grappled for dominance. It was one on Mindfang’s minions, a hideous spider larger than either of Mituna’s demons. Fully upright, he knew, it would just reach Mituna’s chin.

 

Mituna had tangled with one of these things before. He had come very close to having his heart literally impaled. Mindfang’s spiders were vicious creatures that lived only to serve their cruel mistress. They’d fight to the bitter end.

 

Meulin sunk her fangs into one of the creature’s legs. It let out a high pitched shriek and thrashed about, its other legs slashing at her.

 

Mituna zeroed in on those thrashing limbs, psionics locking onto several. He pulled as hard as he could. There was a squelching, cracking sort of sound as one leg was completely torn off. The creature’s scream was earsplitting and Mituna lost concentration, hands flying over his ears. It pierced straight to his eardrums and he fell to his knees, eyes clenching shut. Distorted colors strobed across his eyelids. Dizziness consumed him. 

 

This one was stronger than Mindfang’s last crony he’d faced.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it took him to recover, senses slowly coming back to him. Sound was muted, like his head was underwater. First he registered a hand rubbing between his shoulder blades. Kankri. With that realization everything started to gradually come back to him, colors dissipating and the world raising in volume as Meulin and the spider beast battled on. Mituna forced his eyes open.

 

The creature had managed to scramble to its feet, or what remained. One from the back was completely gone, and Mituna had managed to pull two others half out of their sockets; they hung uselessly from oozing strands. Another in the front was nothing but a stump, fang marks at the end.

 

Meulin was on all fours, just a few yards from the beast. She dripped with blood—olive (hers) and a cerulean blue (its). Worry gripped him for a second, but thankfully there seemed to be more blue than olive. And while a bit roughed up, the creature was far worse off.

 

It stumbled back with a pathetic cry that made Mituna’s ears ring, but otherwise had no affect. He tried to grab the spider with his psionics again, but in his weakened state it was no problem for the beast to shake them off.

 

“Your pet cannot overtake me, Sufferer!”

 

“We’ll see about that,” Mituna grunted before lunging, knife held high.

 

He sunk it into the thing’s thorax, dragging out a howl of pure agony. It tried to shake him off but he climbed onto its back and held tight both on his knife and one of the thing’s remaining legs.

 

Suddenly Meulin was there, raking her claws across its face. The beast struck out in retaliation. It sliced a line up her shirt, clearing the material and leaving a thin cut across her chest. With a snarl she grabbed onto the mandible-esque protrusions from its jaw and pulled.

 

Mituna twisted his knife. The creature bucked, nearly tossing him off. He pressed close to its body and tightened his grip.

 

The creature returned its focus solely to Meulin who was using all her might to rip its jaw off. There was a cracking sound underneath the beast’s terrible wailing. Its remaining legs stabbed and sliced, trying to drive her back.

 

Mituna tore his knife out and struck again, this time at the top of the creature’s head. It reared back with a hiss. The new angle gave him the perfect shot at its eyes, which he took again and again until they were more blood and gore than useful body parts.

 

The creature was thrashing about viciously, using the last of its strength for one last hurrah. Mituna was tossed from its back, thankfully not hitting his head as he slammed against the ground. Kankri was at his side in an instant helping him to his feet.

 

“Mituna—“

 

“I’m fine, Kri.”

 

He turned back to Meulin. It was pure carnage. The beast was still screaming desperately, legs flailing about. It kept stabbing at her but she was hardly affected, only a few hits landing and barely leaving a mark.

 

Finally, with a mighty holler that struck Mituna in the chest, Meulin ripped the spider’s jaw off. Blood sprayed across her front as it convulsed wildly. Meulin didn’t even flinch.

 

She gave it a roundhouse kick to the abdomen that sent it soaring against a tree. It landed with an audible crack, sliding pitifully to the ground. It’s legs twitched pitifully as it garbled half-formed words.

 

Picking his knife up with his psionics Mituna sent it sailing into the creature’s throat, silencing it once and for all.

 

If he wasn’t so worn he’d come up with a witty zinger. There was something just on the tip of his tongue, but before it could be realized there was a happy squeal then he and Kankri were being lifted up in a tight—and sticky—hug. It made Mituna realize that his ribs might be bruised.

 

“I’m so glad you’re both safe.” Meulin said, setting them down.

 

Kankri started fussing over her, hunting for wounds. She waved him off.

 

“I’m fine, you worrywart. I didn’t get knocked around as much as Mewtuna.”

 

“I’m used to it. More hungry than hurt.”

 

“I’ll toss this on the fire,” Meulin offered.

 

“No!” Mituna and Kankri exclaimed in tandem.

 

“It’s probably not poisonous. Why waste good meat?”

 

Mituna rubbed his temples.

 

“Darling, we don’t know the affects it would have on humans. It’s better to play it safe rather than risk Mituna’s health.”

 

“You’re right. Such a waste though,” she sighed. “I’m still eating it.”

 

Again they echoed, “ _No_.”

 

“We don’t even need to spend the night in these fucking woods anymore,” Mituna pointed out. “I’d rather find a 24 hour dinner and sleep in a bed.”

 

“Maybe a shower first,” Kankri agreed. “There is...a lot of blood on all of us. It’s quite unpleasant.”

 

“Yeah that sounds like a good plan,” Meulin conceded. “We should probably dispose of the giant spider carcass first.”

 

Everyone turned to the mess, then back to each other. In unison they all decided, “Burn it.”

 

While Meulin tossed it on the fire Kankri broke up camp and Mituna retrieved his cameras from around the forest. Then he helped Kankri untangle himself from the tent again.

 

They made it back to the motel room without incident. If you didn’t count the guy getting high by the vending machine who clearly saw them covered in otherworldly blood. Meulin waved to him and he waved back slowly.

 

After a gloriously steamy shower Mituna lent them comically ill fitting clothes and they piled back into the truck. Luck was on their side as they found the only open diner in town. It was decked out in Halloween decorations and blessedly empty beside the lone waitress.

 

They squeezed into the same side of a booth, all cuddling up to each other as close as they could get. The waitress seemed friendly enough as she took their order—all the pancakes she had—not even giving them any of the strange looks that Mituna usually expected and usually got, especially when he was with these two.

 

“Would y’all like your pancakes Halloween shaped? I love the holiday, if ya couldn’t tell.”

 

“Can you make them look like a spider?” Mituna asked. Meulin buried her face in his chest, rumbling with laughter.

 

Turned out she could. They looked great, and tasted even greater.

 

The trio ate until they couldn’t stand another bite, then just sat back in the booth and basked in the fact they’d escaped mostly unscathed that night.

 

“Hey, Kankri? Make sure your mom knows I helped kick that spider’s ass.”

 

Kankri snickered and nestled further into Mituna’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> It would be so easy to write a super long, involved story in this universe because this gave me so many ideas.


End file.
